take it all away.

I'm totally clueless on what to blog. Nothing much has been happening around me, 'cept the same old school, projects, assignments. Oh! I had my MSA individual interview earlier on and besides this small lil booboo that i made, it should be fine.

I'm trying my best to be discplined now. With regards to attending school punctually, studying for my quizzes/tests, saving my hard-earned money rather than spending it on clothes, cab, un-necessary stuffs.
All these just sums down to one thing, I'm really working hard to fulfill my dream. Although it's somewhat impossible for me to totally rely on myself, I'm still giving it my best.
I know i CAN do it.
Determination & Hard work.

p/s: I really got to thank god that I'm still able to continue on my job at the present company. It helps, alot.

Just like any other usual day.. weekends are usually spent at home with my family, watching tv, staying up late.
But this week was a different thing... School reopens tomorrow and I'm still figuring out whether is it a relatively good or bad thing.

Hopped to Audrey's blog and grabbed 2 pictures that were taken during family dinner on Xmas eve! Beautiful.
And audrey, my "nice" isn't refering to how the photos were taken (in case you were gonna remind me again on how nice you found your photo taking skills were) so PLEASE, kindly spare me the bragging. Haha!

My brother with Michelle.

Chris (Audrey's brother) and Evan.

Oh PMS. Please go away.
You're affecting me more than I ever thought you could.

I was the kind of person whom never gave a thought about what's gonna happen in the future. However recently, I got myself thinking and thinking ( + a few side factors) and came up with what I thought was the best for me.
But, maybe, i was tad a little over un-realistic. I can practically just keep on dreaming my life away...

It's true. Dreams don't come true... No. They never did. I don't have a reason to convince myself otherwise.

days are getting a bore. I'm not even the least looking forward to anything, at all!
the amount of ever-piling projects could be the catalyst.
As much as i WANT to get over this period of time, the right way, sometimes i just feel like.. giving up.
Everything seems to be a god damn issue now. Everything.
I got to find a way to drill "mind over matter" in my head.
Seriously.

and now, i gotta drag my ass to work.

time to party!

had a big meal at gran's for dinner and 'm feeling so bloated now.
catching a movie later with cousins & their respective girlfriends.. audrey & i are way big lightbulbs. haha!

After days of contemplating, I've finally planned out my future.
There will be obstacles along the way but i'm confident enough to know that i WILL & MUST get over them.
Afterall, it's MY future.

Sadness overwhelmed me when i left my workplace just a while ago. it's my so-called last weekday shift for the month/year (?) and i've no idea when will i ever meet them again.
guess this is farewell.

I'm ready to look at big issues deeply.
It's time they stopped holding me back.

Remember, mind over matter.

so it seems that i'm not alone. everything just doesn't seem right now. but whatever it is, i know things WILL get better... a slight change sounds good, acceptable, though. And well oh well, Karma has just dropped by for a visit.

on a side note, happy 23rd birthday to my dearest brother! stop being such an asshole to me all the time. haha!

i feel a thousand times better after speaking out to agnes.
my hormones are just having some fun with me. i'll be fine soon, i guess.
thanks alot babe. you're always there :)

CONT'D

i'm starting to wonder whether is this part of a growing up phase - nothing just seems to appeal me anymore - Nothing.
Things that were once beautiful to me no longer remain the way they were. nope it's not the things that change, but rather, it was me.
i know it without a doubt. it's just growing in me more and more as i become a day older, everyday.
Despite having a part of me that hopes to be back to what i was, i pretty much enjoy the state that i'm in now.

Mum questioned me a moment ago about the outlook of my life. Unhesitatingly, i replied a full "ENJOYING IT!" i sensed that she didn't really accept that super confident answer of mine.
Being my mum, it's unknowingly true that she could read me like a book. Well, if only she could misread one of the lines in the pages of the book.. so as to let me have my way, for once.

i have a dream that i'm working towards to.
a life i'm looking forward to..

DAY 39

a day ago, i bumped into this guy who had the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen in my 20years of life. no exaggerating. i was totally immersed and felt as though it was gonna suck me in anytime.i managed to get my thoughts straight in no time, anyway.

pretty caught up in my fantasy world of twilight and i'm kinda proud of the fact that i managed to complete New Moon within a day. to think that people were actually saying that my passion for reading the whole series would die down soon anytime, beat that you suckers :D

due to intensive reading, im pretty much dead to the feet but have driving lessons to rush to now.

Tracie.

DAY 37

is it me or is The Little Nonya drama series getting more & more boring & dull after episode by episode? 'm on epi 21 & 22 just now on MOBTV and i found it such a dreadful thing to sit and watch. maybe i shall just wait till the last ep34 is out haha!

on a side note, im just halfway through Twilight while agnes is finishing (or has already finished?!) her New Moon! well, gonna go carry on with my book now!

5more hrs to go
going for a check up later & hope all's well :)

note : i just realised that i didn't blog and mention about Monday whereby agnes & i went to watch Twilight, again, and im still enjoying every part of that fantastic movie. weizhong told me how crazy i was over the movie when i told him not to call me crazy.
but well, guess what. this friday im MOST PROBABLY gonna watch it again with Ruosheng.. although both of us have watched it already haha! and another time with audrey when she's back from Aussie and im gonna watch it online too. (movie6.net)
i share the good stuffs eh.

------------------------------------------------------------

world's biggest swimming pool :

DAY 36

just finished watching the season finale & reunion of Survivor : Gabon!
haha bob won! at least he got my vote as compared to the other finalists.
& as my bro said, now there's no more Survivor : Fiji to look forward to on Sundays (cause the finale was yesterday, ALSO) and no more Survivor : Gabon to look forward to on Fridays as well :(
let's just hope the 18th season of Survivor : Toncantins air soon, real soon! :D

going to register for Adidas sundown marathon women - 10km but i have this feeling that it's gonna clash with the OCP (if im going, that is)
and thereforeeeeeeeee, i've decided that if the OCP clashes with BOTH my TP and the sundown marathon, i might be giving OCP a miss.
IF.

nights.

DAY 35

it happened for the first time.
my initial plan for the day was to head to the gym + yoga, come home for dinner and head to work at night. but received a call frm jy in the morning asking whether i would want to go out today and since agnes was available, i agreed.
informed my boss and requested to change my working day to tmr night instead and he agreed.
so since im going out, i doubt i have the time for gym so i decided to go for a run at bedok stadium which is just a stone's throw from my house.
and the moment i stopped after running 3 rounds non stop, i almost fell to the ground.
my whole head was spinning and the vision in front of me was a mess with grasses and trees and birds coming from different directions.
sat awhile, lied awhile, and came home.
told mum 'bout it and she said it may be due to the heat or my low blood pressure.
therefore, im going for a checkup this coming wednesday :(
haiz what an unproductive day w/o my usual 5.5km run :(

oh well, gonna meet agnes now.
toodles.

this heart of stone.

DAY 34

yknow sometimes i think audrey can be the world's biggest asshole :(

AS SHOWN. this is aud's msn page. i was listening to The Adventure by Angels&Airwaves when suddenly..........

audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:14 PM):
TRACIE
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:14 PM):
U SEE OUR FAMILY CONTACTS
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:14 PM):
u, me and celine listening same song
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:14 PM):
HAHAHAHA
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:14 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA !!!
Traaaaacie 8-| says (4:15 PM):
HAHHHAA OMG THIS IS FUNNY!
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:15 PM):
i purposely cahnge one la =(
Traaaaacie 8-| says (4:15 PM):
.
audrey 8D had my heart on lockdown. says (4:15 PM):
*change
Traaaaacie 8-| says (4:15 PM):
aud
Traaaaacie 8-| says (4:15 PM):
u suck

get what i mean?
okay that aside. gonna go prepare now & head to the airport with the rest of my family to send aud & family off!

aud, yknow sth. im so gonna freaking miss u when ure not in town :( there's no one to joke with me. no one to laugh with me. no one for me to disturb :( lets just hope that 1 freaking week passes by fast enough and you better get ur ass back in singapore! we are so going to celebrate xmas together, watch twilight again and LAUGH OUR ASSES OFF AGAIN AT EVERY SINGLE THING! :D
& im gonna miss celine's company at home :(

p/s: dont worry. i WONT bathe you & celine's pet at pet society for one week. (dashdash)

DAY 34

currently waiting for my Desperate Housewives season 5 to finish buffering/loading.

Audrey & her family are flying off to aussie later =\
( which means for 1 week, NO AUDREY NO CELINE T_T )
well well, there's just this little part of me that envy them. it's like, not many people have a chance to travel to such far places, or even taking the A380!
but i don't blame my own family for not being able to take me to far far places or even have a single experience on an aeroplane.

Mum always tell me that we can't compare our situation with others & with that, i really do understand.

despite not being able to have all the best "wants" in life, i still love my family...
because they are the best that i could ever have in my life! :D

hokays desperate housewives season 5 is done! :D

DAY 33

watched Twilight just now with aud at GV Vivo.
freakinnnnnnnnnn nice lah!
im SO GONNA WATCH IT AGAIN.

'm having thoughts about buying the storybook.
hmmm.

"you're my personal brand of heroin..."

DAY 31

soooooooo tired!
studied overnight with jy ahseng wilson & his friend kenneth at clubroom.
that ass wilson asked me to accompany him to the toilet & while i was waiting outside, he kept frightening me about some old ah ma coming to find me -.-
but i won't deny it's a good place for studying. heheheeeeeeeeeeeee!
oh well, it was my last paper for term test this morning!

& since term test is over, this means that (!!) ..

..

..

..

..

..

..

time to start on my projects.
:(

2 projects for MSA
1 assignment 1 project for MIO
1 project for PROCOI
1 project for MOE
1 project for DECAN
1 project for MODSIM

what is this .....................................................................

DAY 30

tracie is still a very tired girl :(

BUT BUT! lucky me always have this habit to 'communicate' with the people/person whom i will be meeting just to ensure that there's no last min cocked up.
thereforeeeeeeeeee, ytd ahseng jieyin wilson & i agreed on meeting at 8am. & 'cause they say im always late [insert sad face], i told them that if i were to be late, i would treat all of them Macdonald's breakfast.
and i woke up at 645am just now, prepare & blah blah blah.
sms-ed jieyin and she said she just woke up.
wilson still sleeping.
ahseng also still sleeping.
HAHA! thank god i haven't leave home yet. or else i will be camping at Mac alone. [insert cheeky
face]

ALL IN ALL, (for once) IM NOT LATE!

on a serious note, decan paper later at 12.30pm.
screwed.

club room with the gang again tonight for MIO! :))

DAY 30

first day of term test! heho.
MLS went pretty fine. manageable.. but just aiming for a pass though! :)
went to the gym afterwards with aud & to NYNY the next with celine as well.
felt like i ran for nothing at all! :(

proceeded back home and i went to take a look at my GEMOK for just 5 mins. haha! wilson said i lack of love thats why i resort to online pets -.-
went to Storm for a haircut with auddddddd and headed back to school at 10pm. (YES 10PM!)
went up to club room and met up with ahseng wilson & jieyin to study decan.
THANKSSS WILSON FOR TEACHING ME! i finally know at least sth about decan! hehehhooho.
took last bus home!

for now, im gonna play with my gemok awhile and revise a lil decan before heading to bed.
tracie's a very tired girl today :(

Day 29

HAHA guess what! im currently SO hooked onto facebook lah!
thanks to all those that keep mentioning facebook & pet society :(
but its fun!
my pet's name is Gemok & audrey's pet name is Kodok (stupid name)

im so hooked i think im gonna flunk my term test.

OKAY CHOY CHOY.
gonna sleep soon. meeting jy & ahseng tmr morning at 8ammmmmmmmmmmm.

GEMOK GEMOK!

DAY 27 (again)

oooo family outings really make my day! :) aud & i were like so excited over it and even had to discuss what to wear when we were just going to suntec/marinasq. aahhaha!
bought my Nike sports bra like after 2832836483249 yrs of whining about how much i want it & dearest mum paid for it. heheheheeeeeeeeeeeeee.

- audrey broke this price tag thingy at creative store and got me laughing real badddd.
- this crazy (?) auntie came to me and asked me stupid qns and her actions alone were damn funny lah. to think i was actually entertaining her for like, the first minute or so, thinking she was normal.
- bought RED earphones! I LIKE!

term test is HERE! like, finally.
okay im not looking forward to term tests at all but im looking forward to the day it ends. ahaha!
tonight's my last night to practically do nothing 'cept online-ing, watching tv, sleeping like a dead log.

ok ok im gonna stop here as i haven't slept since i got back from work this morning & 'm feeling dead sleepy now.
yoga + gym tmr morning! afterwhich, studying session with mates!

AUDREY U SPOIL PUBLIC PROPERTY AHHAHAH.

few weeks back

DAY 27

aahahah!
i just felt like starting off this post with that.

term test this coming week and i still know nuts about DECANNNNNNNNNNN :(
zen me ban :(
wo bu yao fail :(
wo yao pass with flying colours :(

i just got back from work and am still contemplating whether i should sleep now.
meeting aud later in the afternoon & then meeting our parents in the evening & meeting jieyin & sammy at night to study.
but if i were to sleep now, i sure cant wake up later. CONFIRM ONE, WITHOUT A DOUBT.
HAHHAHA!

i seriously need to get a pair of earphones ASAP. mine totally rosak already.
TO THINK I WAS TELLING AUDREY THAT SHE NEEDED TO GET NEW EARPHONES FIRST. >=(

yawn.

DAY 25

aud was blog hopping and we came across this:
http://www.funlol.com/7798/World%27s_Biggest_Zit!.html

the world's god damn biggest zit! gross yourself please.

just got back from driving not long ago and was out to the main road. got kinda nervous with
all the cars around but got better, i guess. although there were moments i nearly screwed it up. haha! so much for a beginner :p

that aside, i finally removed my hair extensions and i feel so much light headed.
& super lots of hair loss. and my real hair just became shorter too :(
BUT OH WELL, looking forward to WASHING MY HAIR!

gonna go out to ikea now, soon i mean.
toodles.

DAY 24

its how weird that there are actually people googling my name searching for my blog.
not trying to say i famous or what lah but want my blog add can ask me mah instead of typing some funny phrases like "tracie tp bze" , "tracie BZE", "tracie agnes"

okay i have a freaking 2hr30mins long break now & i suddenly feel that the internet doesn't seem interesting to me anymore :( there's practically no webpages for me to view or something besides the usual blogs & flowerpod forums.

ANYHOO, today is the last day of school for this term! (excluding term test, that is)
no lectures tomorrow whoopee!
but i have driving lessons.

gym + yoga after school later.
happy!

hypocrites everywhere.

DAY 23

3 shit happenings at the same time.
THREE. grrrr.
bad things aside.

& guess what. i dreamt of Ray for the 3rd time yesterday night.
i know agnes is so gonna laugh at me & say i jialat liao BUT whalao dreams also cannot control one mah!
i will still stick to the belief that dreams are random. and not some theory that junming told me.

OKAY i had my first driving lesson just now. haha fun & scary please. i was super nervous at the start but the instructor said my turning was good by the end of the lesson. yipee!
driving out to the main road this coming friday already. excited!

had a bad day

DAY 23

i don't know how am i feeling now.
whether is it excited, sad, worried, disappointment or whatsoever.
but i pretty much guess that that's all what im feeling now. shall not go into details 'cause i don't really see the need to.

hey.. term test is just next week.
get focus tracie.
screw all that's happening now.

broken & abandoned